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George W Bush, President

Wednesday, April 14, 2004


I thought I should expend on my remarks about the pressed conference. A lot of the reporters asked me if I made mi...mis...mis...uhhh, if I had re...re...regrrr...hmmm...uhhh, if I should tell the 9-11 families that I was sor...sor..sor...uhhh, if somebody made a mistake and if they owed the public an apology.

Sure, people made mistakes. Saddam bin Laden made a huge one. He built a big honkin stockpile of weapons of mess destruction. That was a huge mistake.

So what if we haven't found any of those weapons. That's Valerie Plame's fault. If she hadn't married Joe Wilson, she'd still be doing her job as an undercover weapons of mess destruction spy, and we'd have found them.

Dick Clarke made a mistake too. He didn't warn me that 19 high jackers were going to fly planes into the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. If he'd just told me that, I could have redacted. Little wimp. I could kick his butt if Mr. Cheney wouldn't hold me back. Clarke's a big sissy. He isn't mendacious like me. I can even grow a beard of if I want. I bet Clarke cant, the wuss.

And another thing. It's not my fault that Saddam bin Laden got away after we catched him. I had a map that pinpointed his hideout in a Afgan Stan's land, but Laura spilled coffee on it, and when she said she'd blot it up with a cloth, Jenna yelled "BLOTTER!" and ate the damned thing. So you see, Jenna and Laura are the reason Saddam bin Laden remains on the loose. It's not my fault.

So, the answer is no. I'm flatulent. I've acted correctly. It's incontinent to say otherwise.


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