I don't want Sen. Santorum to visit us any more
He's always touching my dog in funny places. He says Lou likes it -- I named my dog after Lou Dobbs because he likes to lick my face. Mr. Dobbs doesn't try to lick my face, but he really really likes me. He comes over all the time and punches me in the arm and asks if he can watch cartoons with me.
Anyway, Sen. Santorum is always kind of petting my dog, Lou, in funny places. It gets Lou all excited and he jumps on the Senator's leg and really goes to town. Me and Mr. Dobbs always laugh and punch each other in the arms when he does it, because it's very very very funny. It's like Lou the dog thinks that the Senator's leg is a girls dog or something.
Then I heard that Sen. Santorum likes to talk about men having sex with dogs. He calls it "man on dog." I guess he likes to talk about it with lady reporters. That's kind of weird if you ask me. The lady reporters don't like it. One of them said, "I'm sorry, I didn't think I was going to talk about "man on dog" with a United States senator, it's sort of freaking me out."
It freaks me out too.
Mr. Rove says that I'm not supposed to say anything bad about Sen. Santorum, so I've been defending him against the people who think that it shouldn't be a crime to be a homosexual. Still, I think playing with a dogs thingy might be worse. It's almost as bad as when Clinton put his thingy in ladies' mouths. They made him eat peaches for doing that.