Today I announced that I have a secret road map for Middle East peace that I'll show to the public as soon as the Palestinians elect a new pryminister. Mr. Cheney hasn't shown me the road map yet, but from what I've heard, it starts at my ranch in Crawford, Texas and ends in Palestine with beer stops in Waco and Teague.
I'm not sure how this will all result in peace. I asked Mr. Cheney, and he told me to stop bothering him and to go watch TV. That gave me an idea. Once we get to Palestine, they should make us all live in a really cool motel room with cameras all over the place so they can show it on TV. We could all compete for things like the best bed, those little bottles of shampoo, NyQuil or some other really neat prize. Every week or so, all the housemates would get together and vote to kick out one person who we feel isn't doing his share to achieve peace. Then we will bomb the heck out of his country. I'm going to vote for the French guy every time. The show will end when I'm the only one left, and since I want peace, that will be the prize.